Life is What You Make It to Be

November 9, 2023
Ashley Feder

Torrance, California, United States

Class of 2026

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I look to my right and to my left and see the people standing next to me. The stars in the sky glisten as I listen to the soothing sounds of everyone’s voices joining together for candle and grape juice prayers. I stare at the braided white and blue candle held in the middle of our circle, entranced. I can’t take my eyes off it, off of everything. I feel at peace. 

As I drive up the Angeles National Forest, I feel the excitement in me build up. School is out, summer has just started, and I get to see my second family and return to my second home. Flashback to Shabbats, overnights, s'mores, and 4th of July carnivals flood my mind. Camp JCA Shalom holds a special place in my heart. 

Growing up at camp, I learned different traditions that I hold close to my heart. Havdalah circles with the people I grew up with. I close my eyes and can picture everyone's arms around each other, swaying to the soothing sounds of our voices joining together as we sing the grape juice and candle blessings. My favorite part of Havdalah has to be receiving and giving hugs to everyone throughout the camp. Camp Havdalah is a feeling I yearn to return to every summer.

At JCA, no electronics are allowed. This may be looked at as an aggravating rule as most of us are constantly on our phones to entertain ourselves, but it was key to my self-growth at camp. Being forced to socialize with others and participate changes your perspective on what you need to “survive.” I think most kids would say they can’t live without their phones, and while I go on my phone a good amount outside of camp, I’ve never once complained at camp about not having my phone. I get to be around the people I don't see often every day for three weeks. 

Sitting in the hammocks, on the steps outside the dining hall, or on the floor on the plateau, I can take it all in with my friends and open myself up more. The trust builds each day with one another as we all open up about our lives back at home. My life at home and camp are completely separate. JCA is a different reality, its own little bubble. We do night-time programs, some for fun and some more serious and trust-building. This one program I did this past summer I always think about. Our age group was randomly put into groups of 4 and were told to sit a good distance from other groups. We were handed stacks of papers, each one separated and labeled by different levels. We were told to all read the questions that the strips of paper contained and answer them. There were 5 levels in total, with about 5-6 questions at each level. At each level, the questions posed got deeper and required us to open up to each other. This program helped me see a small group of my closest friends at camp in a different way. We were all vulnerable with each other and uplifting one another. The deeper questions posed in the papers helped me to search for the root of my internal issues and where I needed to start my self-growth.  

Each year, I leave camp as a different person with a different perspective on life. I go to camp after facing the school year, friendships, and stress. I’m able to go to camp, learn from my mistakes, and change my perspective on life. I wouldn’t say I’m a half-glass-full kind of person, but I would say that camp pushes me more toward that direction. This past year hasn't been the easiest for me, and this past summer at camp has been one of the most life-changing ones yet. In JCA, each age group has someone in charge of making the schedule each day and overseeing the counselors; they are called “unit heads.” This past summer, my unit head, Omri, said something to all of us that has stuck with me. Omri said something along the lines of “life is what you make it to be.” Meaning that if you only look at the negative aspects of your life, you're never going to notice the positive things that you could be making happen. I took it upon myself to tell myself this every time I started thinking close-minded about life. I learn more about myself and life each summer. 

The thing no one tells you about being with people is you can still feel so alone even hanging out with a huge group of people. At home, I feel that way at times, and at camp, I can have my moments. For the most part, I feel the support I need at camp. I have my people to go to for advice, to talk, or just to be in their presence. At camp, I don’t feel alone. 

In life, it's easy to get lost in the noise, to feel alone and scared even in a crowd. Camp JCA Shalom has always been my safe place. Traditions are upheld, bonds are strengthened, and personal growth blossoms. No electronics distracting us forces everyone to engage with each other, and that's where the magic happens. This is my second family, my second home, and the memories and connections I've made here are etched in my heart. Camp JCA Shalom is a different reality, a world of its own, and I cherish every moment I spend there. It has helped me discover myself, strengthen friendships, and find the support I need. As I make my way back to camp each summer, the excitement never wanes because, in that tranquil forest, I find not just a camp but a sense of belonging and unity. I feel at peace.

Ashley Feder is a BBG from Torrance, California, who is Argentinian and a part of the first board as gizborit of a new chapter in PWR called Shemesh!

All views expressed on content written for The Shofar represent the opinions and thoughts of the individual authors. The author biography represents the author at the time in which they were in BBYO.

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